Live at Union Hall in 2016

by Rob Paravonian

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1.	One Word Answers (Live at Union Hall) 02:57	lyrics	buy track
I come home and I know That something is the matter When I get in you don’t join in With our normal idle chatter Deep inside of me the desire to flee is stirred ‘Cause when I ask you anything you answer with just one word Hey babe, how ya doing? Good. How was your day? Fine. What are your views on gun control? Varied. One Word Answers, this is gonna be bad One Word Answers, why is she so darn mad? One Word Answers, I know I should run When I get one word answers from you I’ll never find what’s behind This drama I just got trapped in ’Cause it could be literally Anything that has or will ever happened It could be something I said, a TV show Or a dream that’s causing this mess I’ll keep throwing out guesses, baby, just blink twice for yes Is it ’cause I stayed late at work every day this week? Is it what I said about your mother coming to visit? Is it the car? You wanna go for a ride in the car? Put that down… One Word Answers, this could go on all night One Word Answers, I would rather just fight One Word Answers, I’d rather get none Instead of just one word answers from you I’d rather have a riot than unbearable quiet While I’m walking through this field full of mines ‘Cause all the words she doesn’t say will come back anyway At the absolute worst possible time You want to talk now, while the cab is waiting to take me to the airport for a work trip and you had ALL LAST NIGHT TO TELL ME WHY YOU WERE ANGRY!?!? One word answers, like a fart in the room One word answers, each word spells your doom One word answers, I should have just run When I got one word answers from you One world answers, one word answers Oh, baby, I'm so glad we finally had a chance to talk it out, it only took three hours a night for six nights in a row but we finally cleared the air! Don't you feel better? Don't you feel better? Babe? Whatever.
2.	Tech Support for Mom & Dad (Live at Union Hall) 01:25	lyrics	buy track
I'm doing tech support for Mom & Dad 'Cause I'm from the frickin’ future Every time I visit them I have to fix their darn computer They should have a service plan But they're too frugal They think I know my stuff But I just use google Seriously, just google the problem there’s a solution out there somewhere. But don't go to Yahoo Answers, those people are idiots. But I really should help Mom because She helped me with college And since I have a Lit degree I have to prove I have some useful knowledge And it gives me the chance to go in and erase all those Old embarrassing family photos You know the ones, where you're naked, taking a bath, in the sink. Try to find it now, I put it in a protected directory and you don't have the right permissions! Ha ha! Tech support for Mom & Dad Whenever I visit them they get glad 'Cause I'm the only geek they had Tech support for Mom & Dad, re-enter! Tech support for Mom & Dad, retry! Tech support for Mom & Dad!
3.	Who Died? (Live at Union Hall) 02:51	lyrics	buy track
There are computers in our pockets Connected to the world they’re always on And we should never feel alone We use them to photograph our lives And put it all online Sometimes I forget that they’re still phones In fact phone calls are so rare When one comes in I find There’s only one thought running through my mind Who died? Oh my god, who died? Something terrible’s happening Why else would my phone ring And fill me with such dread inside? Who died? Mom, what's wrong? No, that's George Clooney. No, Christian Bale's in the other one. Right, no, that's gonna be Ben Affleck. Yeah, I guess if he were Italian he'd look something like me, I don't know. I gotta go, mom, I'm in the middle of a song. OK, love you too. Crisis has been averted Calmness has been reasserted I’m sorry I blurted out my worst fear Please don’t think me deranged it really was so strange That’s the first call I’ve gotten all year I know I overreacted, it won’t happen again I won’t even fear this new call coming in… Unknown number?! Who died? It’s the F.B.I. My friends are stuck in a hostage scene What else could this call mean? Bodies need to be identified. Who died? Oh my god, who is this?! No, I had to cancel that appointment. Because you guys don't take my new insurance. Well then you should take Providian. Same to you. I’m not saying don't reach out at all Just send a text to warn me of your call Otherwise I'm gonna think: Who died? Oh my gosh, who died? The cops found my number in your phone I was last seen with you alone And I don’t have an alibi! Who died? Who died? Oh my gosh who died? Why does my ringtone leave me terrified? I try to relax, I tried. I can't! All I can think is who died? Who died? There's another call coming in but it's work. Voicemail! Thank you!

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Featured on SiriusXM’s Laughs USA, recorded at Union Hall in Brooklyin, NY

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released December 1, 2016

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Rob Paravonian New York

Known the world over for his viral "Pachelbel Rant" video, Rob Paravonian is a musician and comedian who has performed on Comedy Central, opened for comedy legends George Carlin and Lily Tomlin, and was once called a "deranged bastard child of Tom Lehrer and Joan Baez." ... more

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