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Separate Checks

from Living It Down by Rob Paravonian

/

lyrics

I was at a diner with my friends
But there came a time
when the good time came to an end
When the waitress brings the bill
Everything stands still and I say
Oh crap, here we go again

We shoulda got seperate checks, seperate checks
‘Cause my friends can’t bleepin add
seperate checks, seperate checks
They can’t remember anything that they had
I don’t know what’s wrong with them
Or why it’s so complex
But the next time we go out
We’re gonna get seperate checks

Johnny only left two bucks for eight beers
I knowÛ he’s gone but call him up
and get his ass back here
If he doesn’t come back he dies
I’m not paying thirty-six bucks for fries
The bill’s 200 dollars and were nowhere near

seperate checks, seperate checks
My friends got no math skills
seperate checks, seperate checks
I’m alwyas getting screwed on the bill
A world of problems is what you can expect
If you go out with your friends
And you don’t get seperate checks

seperate checks I’m always getting screwed
By my friends lack of math aptitude
seperate checks, don’t get me started
I love my boys but they’re numerically retarded

No when we go out I make this plea
If you’re getting a group check don’t include me
I’ll sit at another table, as long as I am able
To only pay for food I actually eat

seperate checks, seperate checks
Or you’ll have problems aplenty
seperate checks, seperate checks
Oh crap, everyone’s got twenties
The waitress will be annoyed
when you make your request
But if you don’t wanna kill your friends
You gotta get seperate checks

credits

from Living It Down, released December 15, 2001

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Rob Paravonian New York

Known the world over for his viral "Pachelbel Rant" video, Rob Paravonian is a musician and comedian who has performed on Comedy Central, opened for comedy legends George Carlin and Lily Tomlin, and was once called a "deranged bastard child of Tom Lehrer and Joan Baez." ... more

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