Ever since I was a little kid
I dreamed of being a star
But even in my wildest dreams
I never thought I would get this far
Still sometimes I find myself wishing
For the life I had before
‘Cause when this whole thing started
I didn’t know what I had in store
I was ready for a rocket ride to fame
But when you’re in a teeny-bopping boy band
It’s not quite the same

Life sucks when you’re in a boyband on the road
Every day you live means you’re one more day too old
Eleven-year-old girls own your soul
Life sucks when you’re in a boyband on the road

From the monotony of our shows there is no escape
And we can’t change a single thing
‘cause the whole concert’s on tape
And after the show there’s nowhere to go
There’s never a party
And we can’t have any booze back stage
‘Cause no one’s got I.D.
There’s a million teenage girls who think I’m the bomb
But the only chance I ever have to score
Is with their moms
I don’t know how I go on

Life sucks when you’re in a boy band on the road
You’re not cool when you can only d
o what you’re told
We get grounded if our records don’t go gold
Life sucks when you’re in a boy band on the road

This coast to coast tour we’re on is nothing but frustration
I can’t even grow a beard ‘cause we’re owned
by the Disney corporation
Everything’s planned if a girl runs on stage
someone had to plant her
We even have a staff of writers
For between song banter
Guitar!

The only time I feel like a star is
When I walk through a mall
I go to trendy Hollywood parties
And no one knows me at all
I keep pr[aying some girl over 18 knows that I’m alive
Then I pick up a Teen Beat magazine
And they vote me “Least Dreamy of the Five”
I don’t need this s@#% I went to Juliard
But I can’t play in concert ‘cause playing the cello
And shaking your ass at the same time is way too hard

Life sucks when you’re in a boy band on the road
You gotta wait eight years for your groupies to grow
I had no idea the fast lane was so slow
Life sucks when you’re in a boy band on the road

Yeah, on the road
It’s hard to tell yourself you’re in a band that rocks
When your picture’s on a little kids lunchbox
I regret that contract every day
I had no idea it would turn out that way
My managers take my money I can’t fight ‘em
We have hit songs but I didn’t write ‘em
I’m tired of living life like I’m on the run
I hope to god no one finds out I’m thirty-one
On the road
On the road