Living It Down

by Rob Paravonian

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Released in 2001, Living it Down is Rob's 3rd studio album and the comical and satirical lyrics are fused with power-pop, ballads, anthems for laid-off tech workers, and even a full on Sunset Strip power ballad.


released December 15, 2001

Rob Paravonian–everything except: drums by Liinda Pitmon and Joe Abba.



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Rob Paravonian New York

Known the world over for his viral "Pachelbel Rant" video, Rob Paravonian is a musician and comedian who has performed on Comedy Central, opened for comedy legends George Carlin and Lily Tomlin, and was once called a "deranged bastard child of Tom Lehrer and Joan Baez." ... more

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Track Name: Particle Board
I took a good look at my life
What I saw I didn’t like
‘Cause there was nothing that was built to last
Underneath all the cheap veneers
There’s nothing that can stand the years
It all falls apart so fast

Particle Board
All the furniture I own is made of particle board
It’s all I can afford, particle board
Particle Board
Is this what I’ve been working my whole life for?
Four walls and a door and particle board

I have to live my life alone
‘Cause if I ever bring a woman home
She’ll take one look at me and anÊy chance is blown
I guess that I’d have to admit
A guy looks like he can’t commit
When a hex wrench can dismantle anything he owns

Particle Board
If I ever move I’ll leave it here on the floor
To move would cost more than my particle board
Particle Board
My life sucks and it can’t be ignored
All I can afford is particle board

I try to live my life without things to tie me down
That’s why I onlly buy crap I won’t miss if I skip town
But now I see that I can’t live my life like this forever
I’d like to own some furniture I don’t have to put together

I took a good look at my life
What I saw I didin’t like
It made me want to run away and hide
Just one look around my home
Shows that everything I own
Is all leaning to one side

Track Name: HMO
Went to the doctor ‘cause I was feeling bad
Was trying to figure out exactly what I had
He said “I know what’s wrong but I won’t tell
And I won’t give you what you need to make you well
Because that treatment isn’t authorized”
That was the moment that I realized

That my HMO wants me dead because they know
It will be easier that way, it’s less they’ll have to pay
See if they kill me know they can save about
a million dollars so I gotta watch my back

When I was young and indestructible
I had a great rate andÍ a low deductible
Now that I’m older and I feel my age
I find that I’m not getting such good coverage
When I was well I boosted profitability
Now that I’m sick I’m a liability
That’s why I think...


I just pray that my health stays o.k.
‘Cause the nearest approved doctor is eight states away
And god forbid I should ever need the ER
‘Cause I know they’ll throw me out when they see my plan’s card

And every three years they raise my premium
‘Cause there’s so many deadbeats out there scheming ‘em
And if I get hurt I don’t think they’ll ever pay
They’ll just probably say that I was born that way
Sometimes I think I would be better off with no plan at all
Or maybe I should just move up to Canada
‘cause here in the states...

Track Name: (Life Sucks When You're In A Boyband) On the Road
Ever since I was a little kid
I dreamed of being a star
But even in my wildest dreams
I never thought I would get this far
Still sometimes I find myself wishing
For the life I had before
‘Cause when this whole thing started
I didn’t know what I had in store
I was ready for a rocket ride to fame
But when you’re in a teeny-bopping boy band
It’s not quite the same

Life sucks when you’re in a boyband on the road
Every day you live means you’re one more day too old
Eleven-year-old girls own your soul
Life sucks when you’re in a boyband on the road

From the monotony of our shows there is no escape
And we can’t change a single thing
‘cause the whole concert’s on tape
And after the show there’s nowhere to go
There’s never a party
And we can’t have any booze back stage
‘Cause no one’s got I.D.
There’s a million teenage girls who think I’m the bomb
But the only chance I ever have to score
Is with their moms
I don’t know how I go on

Life sucks when you’re in a boy band on the road
You’re not cool when you can only do what you’re told
We get grounded if our records don’t go gold
Life sucks when you’re in a boy band on the road

This coast to coast tour we’re on is nothing but frustration
I can’t even grow a beard ‘cause we’re owned
by the Disney corporation
Everything’s planned if a girl runs on stage
someone had to plant her
We even have a staff of writers
For between song banter

The only time I feel like a star is
When I walk through a mall
I go to trendy Hollywood parties
And no one knows me at all
I keep pr[aying some girl over 18 knows that I’m alive
Then I pick up a Teen Beat magazine
And they vote me “Least Dreamy of the Five”
I don’t need this s@#% I went to Juliard
But I can’t play in concert ‘cause playing the cello
And shaking your ass at the same time is way too hard

Life sucks when you’re in a boy band on the road
You gotta wait eight years for your groupies to grow
I had no idea the fast lane was so slow
Life sucks when you’re in a boy band on the road

Yeah, on the road
It’s hard to tell yourself you’re in a band that rocks
When your picture’s on a little kids lunchbox
I regret that contract every day
I had no idea it would turn out that way
My managers take my money I can’t fight ‘em
We have hit songs but I didn’t write ‘em
I’m tired of living life like I’m on the run
I hope to god no one finds out I’m thirty-one
On the road
On the road
Track Name: Separate Checks
I was at a diner with my friends
But there came a time
when the good time came to an end
When the waitress brings the bill
Everything stands still and I say
Oh crap, here we go again

We shoulda got seperate checks, seperate checks
‘Cause my friends can’t bleepin add
seperate checks, seperate checks
They can’t remember anything that they had
I don’t know what’s wrong with them
Or why it’s so complex
But the next time we go out
We’re gonna get seperate checks

Johnny only left two bucks for eight beers
I knowÛ he’s gone but call him up
and get his ass back here
If he doesn’t come back he dies
I’m not paying thirty-six bucks for fries
The bill’s 200 dollars and were nowhere near

seperate checks, seperate checks
My friends got no math skills
seperate checks, seperate checks
I’m alwyas getting screwed on the bill
A world of problems is what you can expect
If you go out with your friends
And you don’t get seperate checks

seperate checks I’m always getting screwed
By my friends lack of math aptitude
seperate checks, don’t get me started
I love my boys but they’re numerically retarded

No when we go out I make this plea
If you’re getting a group check don’t include me
I’ll sit at another table, as long as I am able
To only pay for food I actually eat

seperate checks, seperate checks
Or you’ll have problems aplenty
seperate checks, seperate checks
Oh crap, everyone’s got twenties
The waitress will be annoyed
when you make your request
But if you don’t wanna kill your friends
You gotta get seperate checks
Track Name: Star's Partner
I’m a dead man
I’m the star’s partner
In every cop film I am the martyr
The star needs a reason for revenge
So the bad guys gotta kill one of his friends
And of course that’s me
The writer was a hack
Since the opening scene
I’ve had a target on my back

I’m the Star’s Partner
I don’t have a chance in hell
I’m the Star’s Partner
Dying is the only thing I do well
I’m the Star’s Partner
The guy with all the funny lines
I never make it to the end of the film
no matter how I try
I know I’m gonna die

I don’t know why nothing ever goes right
Or why the star always gets us in gunfights
I guess he’s just always so jacked up
That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t call for back up
And I don’t know why I can’t avoid harm
I get shot in the chest while the star gets shot in the aQrm

Oh yeah,
I’m the Star’s Partner
I’m going down in a blaze of glory
I’m the Star’s Partner
My death is integral to the story
I’m the Star’s Partner
I only get so much screen time
I never make it to the end of the film
no matter how I try
I know I’m gonna die

So don’t get too attached to me
I’ll be dead by act two, scene three
It might get you down but don’t let it
Just look for my name in the closing credits
I’ll be there, listed right after the star’s love interest

I’m the Star’s Partner
The funny guy that got killed
I’m the Star’s Partner
This job sucks but it pays the bills
I’m the Star’s Partner
A victim of the plot line
I never make it to the end of the film
no matter how I try
I know I’m gonna die, Star’s Partner
I know I’m gonna die, Star’s Partner
I know I’m gonna die, Star’s Partner
(and I was one day short of retirement)