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There's Always an A​-​Hole on the Internet

from Songs From The Second Floor by Rob Paravonian

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lyrics

When you express yourself on the world wide web
And put something out there in the public trust
No matter what you say someone will find a way
To call you names that would make a teamster blush
(seriously, I once got called a name I had to look up on Wikipedia. It was gross)

Oh you could find a cure for cancer
And post it online to give away
And though you’re saving lives someone will theorize
That you’re doing it all because you’re gay

Because there’s always an a-hole on the internet
Somebody with an axe to grind
They act like juveniles and they’re always spewing bile
And giving you a piece of their small minds
(Now, whenever a stupid person gives me a piece of his mind I just say “hey, you better hang on to that. You really don’t have the resources to be giving away pieces of your mind. You might need that to regulate your body temperature, remember how to breathe.)

Oh, your house could get destroyed by a twister
And they put the story online in the news
Somewhere in the comments section someone will insist
That the twister was the work of the Jews

You could post a picture of your puppy
Playing with a sprinkler in the grass
And though most folks would say “that’s swell”
Someone will be compelled
To photoshop that pup up someone’s a##

Because there’s always an a-hole on the internet
Somebody with nothing better to do
They’re a comments section hog because no one reads their blog
And they have to prove that they know more than you

Oh yes, there’s always an a-hole on the internet
Any time any place anywhere
Ignorant chauvinists bragging about their hard… discs
(“hard disc” it’s a computer thing, I swear)
You know that an a-hole will be there
Oh, online an a-hole’s always there

credits

from Songs From The Second Floor, released August 18, 2009

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about

Rob Paravonian New York

Known the world over for his viral "Pachelbel Rant" video, Rob Paravonian is a musician and comedian who has performed on Comedy Central, opened for comedy legends George Carlin and Lily Tomlin, and was once called a "deranged bastard child of Tom Lehrer and Joan Baez." ... more

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